Flying

for years.

I felt.

that I was falling.

because of having to lose, and let go of so much.

but now I realize,

that I’ve been flying.

and was only letting go,

of the things,

that were holding me down.

Beauty Sing The Blues

My beautiful mother, Malaysone who is currently battling Stage 4 NH-Lymphoma cancer sings Mor lam. Mor lam is a traditional Lao form of song in Laos. Mor lam means expert song, or expert singer, referring to the music or artist respectively. Other romanisations used include mo lam, maw lam, maw lum, moh lam and mhor lum. In Laos, the music is known simply as lam (ລຳ); mor lam (ໝໍລຳ) refers to the singer. Traditionally, the tune was developed by the singer as an interpretation of glawn poems and accompanied primarily by the khene, a free reed mouth organ, but the modern form is most often composed and uses electrified instrument.

The cancer is being a tad bit stubborn and is not gone as of yet so, I'm still remaining hopeful and prayed up.  Last weekend my mother was in great energy and we went to one of her friend surprise birthday party.  Her band was present, they serenaded her and even got her to sing. Here are some pictures and videos from last week from last week!

I'll Be Your Song, Play Me All Night Long

Dear Song,

we haven’t spoke in a while, but I am taking this opportunity to write you a letter. I can’t help but to express my concern with the way things are turning out. you aren’t who I thought you’d be. Please don’t think that I am disappointed in you I just need you to listen.

I remember when you were growing up and you were so sad, you didn’t have many friends, your parents were always fighting, you were getting made fun of by bullies and being tormented by family members. You swore then that you were going to be someone, not to show everyone anything but so that you would never have to be sad again.

Your life had lead you down may roads, you’ve come across many people some good, some bad all leaving an impression on you but your core has never changed. You were always an artist. when things were adverse you wrapped up into yourself and created people that you could be around and worlds that lacked the bad things going on around you. You were able to fight back with your pencil and in turn make people smile and remember the beauty in life. It brought you closer to strangers, gave you a common bond with other artists and dazzled people on your talent. You didn’t have to speak or validate yourself, you just let your art speak for you.

Somewhere down the road between lazy and comfortable, between hurt and karma, you’ve lost it. It’s your light. If you don’t have that light then you needn’t exist. The ease of the execution has been lost on fast masterpieces of digital text and color gradients. It however isn’t fully gone.

As you’ve gotten older, you’ve started saying “why should I? what’s this for?” which was much different than what you used to say ” why can’t i? just because.” You’ve let your pursuit of love or something like it’s vampiric mission drain you of your energy and leave just enough to do it all over again. You didn’t need anything or anyone to be there - no models, no gigalos, no profiles, and default picture’s quicksand time management lessons.

you’re about as lonely as what you surround yourself with - you used to prefer the people you made up over the people you were forced to be around. And while your circle is cleaned and your back to basics like never before, you need to realize that your age & surrounding isn’t a hinderance but more direction more clarity of what you need.

You are one of the few people that can entertain themselves with everything that you’ve already got, you don’t need anyone else to help you or do it for you. But that life that you always dreamed of having is slipping away and you’ll be left with nothing and no one. And it will be your own fucking fault. Why would you choose to be no one special when it’s so clear that you are someone important - if not only to yourself. Seriously.

sincerely with all the love in the world.

Melody

Don't Speak

before I speak.

I must practice the art of silence.

and the art of patience.

and the art of listening.

I should think,

of what it is that I intend to say.

and choose the most concise way to go about doing so.

I should not look at language as a general means of communicating.

but I should be reminded that

the reason I say something

and the way I say something,

should be specific

to the person

or people

I am saying it to.

5 Miles To Empty

the man

that you are

makes me wish

that I

wasn’t the man

that Now am.

the very sight of you

in all your splendor,

opens up old wounds

and makes me wish

that I were the kind of man

that could guarantee he would love you forever

and spend his entire life keeping you, like that promise.

but my love

is an ocean,

too shallow

to drown your fears and insecurities.

.

none the less,

a lifetime

without ever knowing you

would have been

a lifetime

un-lived.

Cruel Summer

Somewhere between heartbreak & adulthood, I lost my way. I sacrificed my imagination for love; for stability. I gave up what made me happy for the unexpected. But I miss that old world, that state of being free, the stick & bag of marble dreams, the street light, My grandparents yelling out the window, summer nights where all you wanted to do was stay there for 15 more minutes…..But I’ve been looking for it, seeking it out in the eyes of the strangers I meet & the strangers I already know…I’ll see it again…I’m sure.